Bizarre Beautification

I was watching a news show at about 5.00am one morning, which in itself kind of begs the question about why I like to start the day with such mindless torture. Normally I flick it onto something more palatable and brain-friendly, but it was the reporter's presentation that caused me to pause, with the remote control suspended mid-air.

She introduced two people as specialised interior decorators. What was so intriguing about the husband and wife team was that they were qualified psychologists and had combined the two careers! Imagine that combination! According to the reporter, the decorators would meet with each potential client, and ask them to complete a number of psychology tests to discover their unconscious selves. Their interior design was then based entirely upon the person's unconscious self.

What a frightening concept! Would you really want to everyone to see the REAL you splattered across the walls of your lounge-room, figuratively speaking of course. If the resulting design was completely hideous, it could cause a person to have serious doubts about themselves or possibly cause a complete breakdown.

What if a room was decorated for couples who were completely different? How could the designers possibly combine the two styles? Can you imagine a husband who felt unconsciously that he was really Genghis Khan while the wife's inner desire was to be like Ghandi?

Can you imagine if they'd decorated homes or rooms for well-known celebrities? Would Elvis Presley's home have been covered in glitter and sequins, complete with an automatic peanut-butter sandwich fryer in the kitchen? Or would they have designed a humble, wooden home, reminiscent of his childhood where he may have felt more at home?

Perhaps those celebrities perceived as less than intelligent or lacking a personality may in fact prove a challenge to the decorators. Would they paint their room white and leave it completely free of furniture to indicate what they found of their character?

And what do you imagine they might design for fictional characters? Dame Edna Everage might have walls painted with gladioli and adorned with pictures of her megastar self.

I shudder to think about what the decorators would create if they'd come across Hannibal Lector, although "Butcher-shop Boutique" springs to mind.

But I'm sure the designers would have no problems creating a home for Wile E Coyote. They'd simply kit out his entire house with Acme products.

I believe that I've decorated my own bedroom in a way that says something about me – it's a bit like Aladdin's cave, and perhaps deep down I feel that it's somewhere I can go to hide when I need time away from the world.

So, what does your favourite room say about you?