Since When Did I Become Vintage?

Photo author: Petr Novak, Wikipedia

Just recently I was trawling through an Australian online auction site and I decided to drop into the antiques section to have a look at what was being sold. 

There were some lovely old-fashioned doilies and tables runners on sale, which I can recall seeing at people's homes when I was a child. To me, they were just the standard type of thing one saw on the table, cupboard or bedroom dresser. It dawned on me as I was looking through, that these were now considered vintage - and I thought "What does that make me? Vintage as well?"

The fact that they were around when I was a child must mean I've entered old fogey category. I almost felt like I had to look behind me to see if I'd entered through some door marked "Ancient" without realising it.

Feeling a little miffed at that idea, I decided to put my mind to another task and see what was the most expensive item on an international auction website. One item was an antique model steam train and figurines for just under $60,000.

But perhaps you prefer stamp collecting in which case you could put out around $100,000 for a rare Mozambique stamp.

Next I spotted what looked like a faded old rug or wall hanging which turned out to be an ancient Tibetan KESI Thangka - Vajrasattva for $250,000. The crazy thing was you could buy a Mercedes convertible for far less at just $37,500, even an old army tank for $32,000, and the old robot from lost in space was also for sale at $29,500. In fact, you could buy the convertible, the robot and the tank as well and forget the ancient wall hanging altogether!

Next on the most expensive list, I spotted a catamaran for a mere $320,000. 

"Mmm," I thought, "What could I try next." 

I found an old 19th century oil painting of a Chinese Emporer selling for $375,000.

Next up on the list was a business - Liquor, self serve fuel, newsagency takeaway Food Shop for $595,000. 

Well, what could possibly cost more than a business, I wondered? Apparently a rare American quarter dollar from 1788 could. It was worth $1 million.

Then I spotted a rather smallish item that was more than double that price. It was a single 43.61 carat diamond selling for $2,628,726!

Next I found a beautiful Victorian dairy property for sale at a not to be sneezed at $4,500,000. Yes, that's four and a half million dollars.

But possibly the most bizarre thing I spotted on EBay for a ridiculous price was the item that a person from Queensland was selling. He was selling off a toenail clipping from his left foot which he valued at $2 million.