Society Slip-Ups

I don't really understand why snoring should be regarding as something embarrassing that we should hide. It's not like somebody has a tentacle growing out of their head.

Have you noticed how many things in our 'enlightened' society are considered unseemly or humiliating and should be entirely concealed.

For many red-heads the accompanying freckles have often seen them being teased mercilessly by their peers. I never understood that. Even as a child, I remember thinking that freckles were lovely. Having a couple of facial moles, I always regarded them more as beauty spots, and thought that those with freckles were even more fortunate.

When I was young I remember wanting blue eyes, dimples and freckles. A freckled friend of mine at the same age was hoping fervently that if she could just get enough sun, the freckles would get larger and join together into an all-over tan. Alas, neither wishes came true for either of us.

Another no-no in society is cellulite. Some time in the early 1980s, this particular beauty blunder seemed to rear its head for the very first time. I'd never heard of it prior to then, and I imagine that some desperate women's magazine writer, anxious for a story and sick to death of the same boring old articles, created this before unheard of phenomena. Whereas these naturally occurring fatty deposits had always been accepted and never really noticed, almost overnight it became one of the most hated faux-pas in our society. As the years pass, the magazines seem to discover more and more for women to agonise over. Those women's magazine journalists have a lot to answer for!

This takes me back to my introductory statement – when it comes to perfection, I believe I am as close to perfection in this regard as it's possible to be. I refer of course, to my snoring ability. Yes, it's an exceptional talent of which I am quite proud.

For many years, I was made to feel embarrassed by the freight-train sounds that emanated from my mouth. So-called friends have hit me over the head with their pillows, turned me over, poked me, prodded me and gotten outright cranky with me. Having two sets of grandparents and one set of parents that snored, the chances were pretty high that I would inherit this ability.

I'm not quite sure when the turning point case – somewhere in my 30s I think – but now, if somebody comments on my snoring I simply smile and say "Thank you!" It almost always shuts them up.

If only we could all be that positive about the flaws that society so often wants to point out in us. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all simply say something like, "Why yes, I think I have a spectacular crop of cellulite developing there. Thank you for noticing!"