February 3, 2010

Can you go without sex and be sane?

I’ve never written a day-to-day blog before and thought, what should it be about? Shall I just fill the pages with the thoughts that flit through my mind...well yes, I suppose I can, but what should I begin with?

Shall I start with sex?

I am an ordinary woman, and I have been celibate for more than half of my life.

There! I’ve said it...and it’s true. I am turning 47 and I haven’t had sex with anyone since I left my partner 24 years ago.

Yet today’s music and movies would have us believe that to be a complete person, we must be willing to jump into bed at the first opportunity, or at least by the third date. Why has sex become as trivial as brushing your teeth or going for a jog? It seems to have become as ordinary as a loaf of sliced bread.

Sure sex is very nice and makes you feel good, but treating sex like it’s an amusement for our spare time means that millions of people like us, can no longer experience an extraordinary closeness that was once possible between two people .

So how can it be that a woman could survive without sex for 24 years?

When I left my partner at the age of 23, I was unconvinced that the media’s ideas about sex was true. I accepted... actually expected that when I eventually married, I wanted to experience an intimacy that I could not know if I was willing to treat sex as a casual pastime.

Do I miss sex? No, but I occasionally miss not having someone to love and who loves me...but then I’m not willing to settle for second best just to have that either.

When I marry, it will be to someone who is worthy of me and vice versa. I’m not being unrealistic. I know that I have faults and that my future husband will probably irritate the heck out of me on occasion, but I’ve seen far too many people who settled for second best and lived to regret it.

Why fall for the media hype that someone is abnormal if they abstain from sex...I am an ordinary woman, and I have been celibate for more than half of my life

..and I am still sane!

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