May 25, 2010

Good Reasons for maintaining BAD Hygiene ©

At one stage I recall having to explain to my then ten year old JD about the importance of good hygiene. 

I decided to approach the situation from the reverse, and put together a list of good reasons for maintaining BAD hygiene:

1.    The odour and bad breath is a simple way to be noticed by your school or workmates.
2.    It's a great way to ensure that people you dislike will leave you alone.
3.    If people leave you alone, the less names and birthdays you’ll have to remember.
4.    It saves money and time.
5.    You never have to remember to replace your toothbrush, underarm deodorant, soap, towels or sheets.
6.    If you stop brushing your teeth, the resulting gum pain and bleeding will remind you that you are alive and kicking.
7.    If you keep up the bad dental hygiene, eventually you'll be able to get false teeth and never have to endure dental drilling again.
8.    You will stand out from other people by your inflamed red gums and green-tinged teeth and also by the strange colour of your skin.
9.    You can tell people that you are providing a service for mankind by presenting yourself as an example of what NOT to do when it comes to hygiene.
10. You could become an inspiration for developers of odour spray.
11. You could save water and simply stand out in the rain naked.
12. You could be nominated for the "Worst Teeth in the World" Award, or
13. You can tell people that you are an experiment gone wrong. ©

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