May 30, 2010

Concentration of Curiosities ©

I have come to the conclusion that while strange experiences occur in our normal lives, they seem to intensify when one goes away on holidays.

Take for example the small vacation I had in Brisbane with my mother one year. On our first morning out, we were approached by a very excited man who was sure we wanted to hear about the enormous cruise ship that was in the city's harbour. This complete stranger then felt compelled to share the news with everyone else on the same street corner. We smiled politely and hoped he wouldn't follow us.

A couple of days later we headed along for a quick visit to Fortitude Valley, where we were greeted by the vision of a white man, prowling the street in broad daylight, dressed in a very colourful kimono and wearing a pair of dainty white gloves.

Fortunately he didn't feel duty-bound to express his delight at any oversized ships that he knew of.

On our second last day, I may possibly have been mildly surprised when a woman crossed the street in front of us, carrying a life-sized skeleton.

Then there was the long weekend I had with my mother in my home-town. On the trip up, I had harnassed my dog Scout into the seatbelt in the front passenger seat. At one point, I was singing away merrily to the music and looked across at Scout - she was nodding her head in time to the music. It was a surreal moment, and while I recognised that it was just coincidental that the small bumps on the road were appropriately spaced enough for this phenomenon to occur, I laughed out loud when I realised that she looked remarkably like one of those bobble-headed toy dogs that people put in the back window of their cars.

The weirdness continued the following morning when I received a rather strange text message from a friend...she asked if I had a fake pineapple that she could borrow. Now, I can honestly say that I have never been asked that particular question before in my life. I suppose I could have responded with something like, "Sorry - no pineapples, but how about a collection of very bad poetry?"

It was later in the same weekend that I discovered something truly amazing which I am sure will astonish the scientific and music world - I hope you're sitting down... I discovered that burps do not register on a guitar tuner!

Since that momentous breakthrough, I believe I have done my duty in giving this gift of knowledge to the scientific and music world. I have decided to retire from any similar pursuits as I feel that any future contributions would simply pale in comparison.

Please feel free to applaud. ©

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