I found the black hole. I knew it existed but hadn't spotted it until this last week. I'm referring to the black hole in JD's bedroom. That's the place where most of his socks, underpants, pens and rulers had been sucked into during the last 18 months. Once we pulled all of the junk out of the storage space underneath his bed and wardrobe, the vortex disappeared and all of missing items suddenly reappeared.
Mind you, there were also a number of other items that joined the missing throng as well. We discovered the missing dictionaries that JD swore must have been stolen at school.
One item we unearthed was a very dead lunchbag, which half explained the rather distinct odour in his bedroom, and the other was a container of watermelon pieces that had begun to grow it's own life-form. The fungi seemed to be trying desperately to get out of the lunch container to meet us, so I asked JD to introduce them to Mr Wheely Bin.
We were unable to identify the remains of another item but suspect it may once have been a piece of food, but rather resembled something that belonged in an Egyptian tomb.
The socks and underpants were a rather disturbing collection, all of which I refused to touch with my bare skin. One sock was able to stand up on its own and I could have sworn another scuttled under cover when I spotted it out of the corner of my eye.
Those two areas alone yielded five bags of rubbish and we have yet to attack the remaining half of his bedroom. I dread to think what other frightening phenomena have taken up residence there.
I am deliberating about whether to place a toxic warning poster on JD's bedroom, suggesting that visitors are entering at their own risk This I fear may just encourage JD to attempt to reach an even greater level of debris and filth than he has yet achieved. I suppose I can look forward to more of the same in his teenage years, though I fear that one day I will go in there, and JD himself will have disappeared into his own black hole. ©