August 4, 2010

Dressing Room Disasters ©

Dressing rooms can be scary places. It was in a dressing room that I discovered my first grey hair – alright, I might as well be honest – my first bunch of grey hairs. I think they'd laid low until there was a nice little crop of them hunkered down, waiting for the perfect spotlight opportunity whereupon they leapt out to yell SURPRISE! If they'd sent me an invitation before they threw me the surprise party, I would have politely but firmly declined.

Actually when I discovered my first grey-hairs, I thought I'd curl up and dye.

Most of us have known other lovely surprises in fitting rooms: there are those outfits that make us look larger than we feel we really are (and those occasions are far, far too often); then there are those trousers that bunch up in weird places, or make us look like we have an aardvark growing from each hip.

And why is it that an outfit that looks sensational on a friend, looks so terribly tragic on me?

One of the other things I've noticed is that when I want a particular style of clothing in a certain colour, I have to wait several years before they come into fashion. I would prefer to believe that I'm ahead of my time, rather than the possibility that I'm so far behind that the style is just having a resurgence.

Meantime, while I wait patiently for a cotton wrap-around robe that's not in fairy-floss pink or blue to appear in the shops, I still continue to try on outfits in the vain hope that something will magically transform me into Elle MacPherson, rather than a plumper version that somebody may unkindly refer to as Swell MacPherson.

One time while shopping I discovered a new look I had never worn before. Selecting a shirt from the sale rack, I was intrigued by its unusual pattern and cut. After I put it on, I stood back to survey the results, and realised why this particular garment was on the sale rack – I was wearing what looked remarkably like a horse blanket.

I do think that it's time I saddled up and trotted off till next time. ©

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