Celibate and Sane: Dressing Room Disasters ©

August 4, 2010

Dressing Room Disasters ©

Dressing rooms can be scary places. It was in a dressing room that I discovered my first grey hair – alright, I might as well be honest – my first bunch of grey hairs. I think they'd laid low until there was a nice little crop of them hunkered down, waiting for the perfect spotlight opportunity whereupon they leapt out to yell SURPRISE! If they'd sent me an invitation before they threw me the surprise party, I would have politely but firmly declined.

Actually when I discovered my first grey-hairs, I thought I'd curl up and dye.

Most of us have known other lovely surprises in fitting rooms: there are those outfits that make us look larger than we feel we really are (and those occasions are far, far too often); then there are those trousers that bunch up in weird places, or make us look like we have an aardvark growing from each hip.

And why is it that an outfit that looks sensational on a friend, looks so terribly tragic on me?

One of the other things I've noticed is that when I want a particular style of clothing in a certain colour, I have to wait several years before they come into fashion. I would prefer to believe that I'm ahead of my time, rather than the possibility that I'm so far behind that the style is just having a resurgence.

Meantime, while I wait patiently for a cotton wrap-around robe that's not in fairy-floss pink or blue to appear in the shops, I still continue to try on outfits in the vain hope that something will magically transform me into Elle MacPherson, rather than a plumper version that somebody may unkindly refer to as Swell MacPherson.

One time while shopping I discovered a new look I had never worn before. Selecting a shirt from the sale rack, I was intrigued by its unusual pattern and cut. After I put it on, I stood back to survey the results, and realised why this particular garment was on the sale rack – I was wearing what looked remarkably like a horse blanket.

I do think that it's time I saddled up and trotted off till next time. ©

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Personal Quotes from Vicki-S

"Occasionally I find my breakfast a little bitter, and sometimes it's difficult to chew and swallow; though at other times it's sweet, but it’s very satisfying and always sustains me. My most important meal of the day, is feasting on God’s Word and drinking up His presence."

I love me, because God loves me. It's not that God doesn't see my flaws, they are like blazing torches in His eyes, but rather that He sees past my imperfections and still loves me. And who am I to argue with the perfect God that I am worthwhile, that I am worthy of love, and that He accepts me and wants me to be His child, His beloved daughter? When I understood this, I began to accept and embrace His version and His vision of me, and not the world's.

"The silent treatment and sulking are simply two other weapons in the arsenal of the manipulator."

"Often people use the metaphor of a butterfly emerging from its cocoon to describe how we can grow from difficult experiences, but what they don't mention is the fact that at first we start off as an ugly caterpillar."

"We so often just get caught up in trying to just get through each day, that we forget to pause and be thankful for the fresh one that is presented anew and untouched each morning."

"Contrary to what we might think, forgiveness isn't so much about healing our relationship with that other person, but about healing our own broken heart."

"The purpose of school reunions is to show off how much you've achieved in life, to laugh at the once popular kids who've aged more quickly than you; and to wince at the guy who was a bully in school and who aptly became a policeman."

"I've found in many organisations where volunteers are needed, including the modern-day church, that 80% of its people sit back and let everyone else do most of the work, then there's the 10% who actually make the place run, and the remaining 10% just like to whinge about the 10% doing the work, especially about how they could do it better."

"When traced back to its source, every sin, every despicable act, and every war was motivated by someone's selfishness."

"I do not want to think of man, for that would distract me from God. But if I focus on God, I cannot help but think of my fellow man, and each day God keeps the scales balanced so that I have enough within me to do both."

"Overcoming depression isn’t about changing ones attitude, or just ‘getting on’ with things, it’s like removing one’s personal black shroud one thread at a time, with ones teeth.”