Celibate and Sane: My Brother's 50th Birthday Gift

November 11, 2010

My Brother's 50th Birthday Gift

For many years I gave sensible gifts to people for Christmas and birthdays, but decided a number of years ago to just have a bit of fun instead.

A couple of Christmases ago I gave my brother a life-size fake crocodile head. He's always liked practical jokes and I figured he would have fun placing it in the bushes near his front steps.

It was after his recent birthday that I discovered how much he had enjoyed his gift. He has a rather large yard, extending back into a fenced paddock. He was talking about the pool of water that accumulates there in wet weather and how he decided to place the crocodile head there, poking up from the water's edge.

A short time later the woman next door went down to her adjoining paddock and almost had a heart attack at the sight of what she thought was a large, live crocodile. My brother and his wife thought it was hilarious.

I'm sure my recent birthday gift to my brother for his 50th birthday will provide an equal amount of amusement for them.

The gift is a gag toilet monster that can be attached to the inside lid of the toilet. When visitors lift up the lid, they'll get the fright of their lives as a scary looking green monster seems to jump up out of the toilet.

I'm sure the most common response will be something like, "Oh, crap!" .......... very appropriate.

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Personal Quotes from Vicki-S

"Occasionally I find my breakfast a little bitter, and sometimes it's difficult to chew and swallow; though at other times it's sweet, but it’s very satisfying and always sustains me. My most important meal of the day, is feasting on God’s Word and drinking up His presence."

I love me, because God loves me. It's not that God doesn't see my flaws, they are like blazing torches in His eyes, but rather that He sees past my imperfections and still loves me. And who am I to argue with the perfect God that I am worthwhile, that I am worthy of love, and that He accepts me and wants me to be His child, His beloved daughter? When I understood this, I began to accept and embrace His version and His vision of me, and not the world's.

"The silent treatment and sulking are simply two other weapons in the arsenal of the manipulator."

"Often people use the metaphor of a butterfly emerging from its cocoon to describe how we can grow from difficult experiences, but what they don't mention is the fact that at first we start off as an ugly caterpillar."

"We so often just get caught up in trying to just get through each day, that we forget to pause and be thankful for the fresh one that is presented anew and untouched each morning."

"Contrary to what we might think, forgiveness isn't so much about healing our relationship with that other person, but about healing our own broken heart."

"The purpose of school reunions is to show off how much you've achieved in life, to laugh at the once popular kids who've aged more quickly than you; and to wince at the guy who was a bully in school and who aptly became a policeman."

"I've found in many organisations where volunteers are needed, including the modern-day church, that 80% of its people sit back and let everyone else do most of the work, then there's the 10% who actually make the place run, and the remaining 10% just like to whinge about the 10% doing the work, especially about how they could do it better."

"When traced back to its source, every sin, every despicable act, and every war was motivated by someone's selfishness."

"I do not want to think of man, for that would distract me from God. But if I focus on God, I cannot help but think of my fellow man, and each day God keeps the scales balanced so that I have enough within me to do both."

"Overcoming depression isn’t about changing ones attitude, or just ‘getting on’ with things, it’s like removing one’s personal black shroud one thread at a time, with ones teeth.”