July 16, 2010

Disgusting Experiences ©

While life can be full of great and positive experiences, there are also those experiences that we'd rather forget. If you have a sensitive stomach, then I do suggest you might like to skip this particular blog entry.

Over my 40 odd years of existence (odd being the operative word here), I've had my share of some revolting experiences that I could well have done without. 

Things I've eaten:

Brave breakfast:
I can recall the morning when I was about 14 that I was sitting at the kitchen table about to tuck into my breakfast cereal, when I noticed something moving. When I looked closer, it was crawling with weevils. I was almost sick at the sight because I'd been just about to take a mouthful.

When we told our stepfather that we wouldn't eat the cereal because of the weevils, he insisted that they wouldn't hurt us. To teach us a lesson, he poured himself a big bowl of the cereal, added the milk and ate it all down - weevils and all. 

It's no wonder that for many years after that I had difficulty eating anything for breakfast.

Visiting a cafe one day with a friends, I'd eaten a couple of mouthfuls of my salad and cold-meat lunch, when I turned over a lettuce leaf, and there was a long, black greasy looking hair.

Looking at it, my stomach rebelled at the sight of it and I finally got the courage to call the waitress over. When I told her about the hair, she simply leaned over the table, reached in with two fingers, pulled it out of the salad, and walked away.

I kind of lost my appetite at that point. Not only had it had a hair in it, but someone's unwashed fingers!

At one time I worked on a cattle property as a Governess (teacher). One weekend, the Manager and his wife and their two kids, along with myself and a couple of jackeroos, took some time out for branding.

It was a fairly brutal process as the young calves were branded with a hot brand. In addition, the young bulls were also castrasted which I definitely did not want to watch. Later around the fire, the manager asked me if I wanted to try some barbecued bull's balls. His young daughter was quite happily gobbling them up. Though I hesitated at the idea, I thought to myself, "It's an experience I'm not likely to get to try again."

I nibbled on a bull's testicle. It tasted just like beef, only chewier, but I wouldn't go out of my way to try it again!

Things I've Smelt:

Toxic Taxi:
In one of my earlier blog entries I shared an experience I had with a flatulent taxi driver I had to spend 30 minutes in the car with. He smelt like he'd been eating a dead camel.

Not So Sweet Sugar Cane:
Have you ever driven past a sugar cane factory at certain times of the year when they are processing the sugar cane? It has to be one of the most revolting smells you can imagine. 

To reach one of my workplaces one time, we had to drive past a sugar cane factory while it did its processing for several months. The stink hit us long before we reached the factory, and for miles after we drove past it. It always reminded me of a cat with bad diarrhoea. And there was no way on earth that anyone could hold their breath that long!

Stinky Rachel:
We discovered that our little dog Rachel has an intolerance for bones. She can eat only a small quantity at one time, and never more on a second day. We discovered this after I'd been giving her bones three days in a row and on the fourth day she began passing gas - really stinky gas. Gas so stinky, that we sometimes had to leave the room.

It was impossible to believe that a dog that small could contain that much stink!

Food Poisoning:
While on the subject of passing wind, I discovered just how stinky a human being can become while suffering from food poisoning.

Unfortunately I had to go to hospital three times for five different injections and felt like I wanted to die, after I ingested some dodgy food at a local eatery. I was sick for around six months afterwards as well.

But in the week following the worst of my illness, I could barely stand to be in a room with myself. My other dog Scout likes to get under the covers on my bed, but even she couldn't bear it, and one morning came scrambling out from under the covers like her tail was on fire. 

I always thought dogs liked stinky things, but perhaps there's a limit to what they can stand!

Things I've Seen

Cacky Cockies:
For an example of my interaction with a cockroach and a toilet seat, you may like to visit an earlier blog entry of mine.

Let Go Gecko:
One morning I got out of bed, and toddled off to the toilet, before I had a chance to put on my glasses. I noticed something in the doorway on the floor but for the life of me could not figure out what it was. It was about 3x2cm and greyish in colour. 

After I put on my glasses I went back and had a close look. That's when I realised that it was the remains of a gecko that my cat had eaten. She had left the stomach and it's back legs for me to discover. How sweet of her I thought, to share that with me.

Things I've Felt

Toed with a Toad:
And finally, I would have to say that one of the most revoltingly disgusting things that anyone can experience is stepping onto a cane-toad in your bare feet. It still makes me shudder to think about it. But the worst thing is that it didn't happen just once - but THREE times!  Urrgh! ©

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