It's not the most uplifting entry today - sorry about that.
In an earlier blog entry I mentioned that I have been suffering depression. This was a result of an injury to my shoulder in early 2009, subsequent surgery and the resulting loss of independence, intense pain, lack of sleep for months on end and lack of compassion from my workplace. Upon returning to work I was subjected to nasty comments and ongoing bullying until I left on stress leave late last year.
I have been undergoing treatment for the depression and have been making some progress, but every time I feel like I'm starting to get back on my feet again, I get a rude letter from my employer about some issue or another. Even now, nine months later, they still don't understand or care about what I am going through and I'm still getting hassled by them and threatened with dismissal and legal action.
My friends tell me I should resign, but I said, "Why should I? I'm not the one who has done anything wrong."
Giving in like that would be like saying that they're right, or that it's ok to treat their employees like dirt. I've been working there for more than a dozen years, and after all that time you'd think they'd treat their loyal employees like gold, but I have been sadly disappointed and disillusioned by their callousness, and the fact that they have allowed the workplace to develop into a place where bullying is tolerated - and even encouraged.
The last letter from my employer sent me right back to my earlier stages of depression and lack of sleep, but being able to recognise the symptoms, is helping me to overcome them more quickly than previously.
Upon discussing my depression with Christian friends of mine, it's interesting to discover that there are other Christians suffering as well. Oftentimes the Church or its people want to judge Christians with depression as not strong enough in their faith or obviously lacking something, but the fact is that being a Christian does not preclude one from depression or stress.
Financially at the moment, I'm having to completely trust God to help me through. Normally I have a tendency to hold onto my worries, especially my finances, but recently, because everything has been so tough, it's been completely useless for me to worry about my finances. I don't know how my bills are going to get paid - I don't have enough money, so I keep on turning to God and saying, "I'm not going to worry about that. You promised that you would look after it, so I'll leave that with you."
So far, I've been managing to make ends meet - enough money is coming in at the right time. We haven't had to go without food, just the odd luxury - and it's always good to do without those so you can appreciate them more!
So that's where I have been lately, and one of the reasons I haven't been writing as much. I do hope though that you are well, and that you enjoy the photos I've been including in my blog.