Why on Earth Would I Eat Dirt?

When I was a kid, I was different from most others because I HATED chocolate milk and chocolate ice-cream. In fact I hated the taste of anything that called itself chocolate but did not in fact taste like chocolate is supposed to. This extended to chocolate sauces and any kind of dessert with chocolate flavouring. None of them tasted remotely like real chocolate is supposed to. In fact to me, they tasted like a sweet version of dirt.

Even now as an adult I loathe all of those fake chocolate flavourings, desserts and sauces. It's one of the reasons I can't stand tiramisu, profiterols and such like.

I remember the first time I ever tasted tiramisu. It was at a work function at an expensive restaurant and I recall hearing everyone else exclaim with delight when they heard what the dessert was going to be. The name 'tiramisu' sounded so lovely that I looked forward with anticipation to a taste sensation.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was with that very first mouthful. In fact, I wanted to spit it back onto my plate and demand a dessert with REAL chocolate and not fake tasting chocolate sauce that I could buy from any supermarket. Grumbling quietly into my coffee a little later, I swore I would never try it again... but then at a later time someone talked me into trying a home-made tiramisu, encouraging me with the promise that it was divinely delicious. 

They lied. It tasted like fake chocolate.

I guess it's not really much of a food issue is it? But then I realised I also disliked certain food combinations and it took me some time to realise what they were. I loathe eating the following meats together:

• chicken/turkey with ham or bacon;
• chicken/turkey with prawns (shrimps);
• beef, pork or lamb with chicken/turkey;
• beef, pork or lamb with prawns; or
• prawns with anything other than seafood.

"Huh?" I thought to myself, "It's taken me over 40 years to recognise this in myself. I wonder why I don't like those combinations?"

I pondered on it for a few months and eventually came to a conclusion that may not be all that serious or close to the truth, but it was the best I could come up with:

Food made from creatures with a certain number of legs do not go with food from creatures with a different number of legs!

Therefore meat from two-legged chickens does not go with meat from a four-legged cow, pig or lamb. And prawns have so many legs they really should be in a class of their own.

To finish, I thought I'd share some images with you that may put you in mind of certain dishes. Perhaps you have others you would like to suggest...

A very Aussie icon